Children Obey Your Parents
Children Obey Your Parents
I know that no child is going to be reading this blog. It means, I am writing to parents, adults and perhaps those still stuck in childhood and have refused to grow up.
When was the last time you got a child to do everything you wanted them to do? When was the last time as a child you did what your parents told you to do? I was an “obedient” child but I am sure I was like you. I did not find it pleasant to do everything my parents asked me to do. I may do them but with some attitude that earned me punishment. I heard about the girl who was told to sit down and she would not and finally she did. She then said, “I am sitting down but I am standing on the inside”.
I had it to the full last night. It was homework time with Jonathan. He wanted me to help him with his math fractions. He was required to express in fraction a problem that was described in words and narrative. I tried to help him but he would not listen to me. He did not want me to use words and I did not understand what he was trying to convey. I tried to help and got very frustrated that I had to walk away before I did something stupid like hit him. Have you been there? Children will get you to the “boiling point”. I know I did so when I was a child.
Let’s read the specific instructions to children which are a continuation of the submission theme to all from previous verses in Ephesians 5:
Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2 Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; 3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. 4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 6:1-4.
Who is a child in this passage? In other words what age range is the Scripture referring to? It has to be until one transition to adulthood around 18-21. After that, though we are children (offspring) we have a different relationship with parents. Adult children are required to “honor” their parents not so much to obey them. It means we need to grow up and be independent from our parents. Please leave home literally. If you are going to remain at home, then there is some “obeying” that comes with it.
The command is actually an indirect way to instruct parents to teach their children on how to obey. Children are already inclined to disobedience as part of our heritage from Adam. It now makes sense that adults, parents, wives and husbands were first instructed to submit and obey the Lord (Ephesians 5:21-33). How can we teach obedience to children when we are not obeying God our Lord? Part of the teaching of obedience is by the kids observing how we parents obey God. No parent should be surprised to see their child disobeying when the parent(s) have consistently disobeyed God’s command.
Obedience is not natural and it is foreign to our nature. Why would God ask children to obey their parents? Because it is the right thing to do – “for this is right” vs. 1. It is right because children’s obedience follows God’s order of creation – husband, wife, and child.
Children are only to obey their parents “in the Lord”. In other words, as parents submit to God, children submit to God thru their parents. A child should never obey a parent or anyone in anything when it is contrary to God’s will and His Word. Children should not be forced to disobey God. I hear people say to their kids “tell the caller on the phone that I am not home”. That is a lie and we should not make them do so. Deuteronomy 11:18-21 gives us more detail on how to train our children “in the Lord”.
There are benefits to obeying mom and dad. There are immediate benefits but there are lifetime benefits. “2 Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; 3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth”. God had to sweeten the deal for children. It will be well with you and you may live longer than you would if you continue in obedience instead of disobedience.
We are not to provoke the children. God, I don’t get this? They can provoke us but we are not to provoke them? Children certainly push our buttons. God is saying, you father (and mother), you know better; control yourself and not tease and anger your kids. Take the children’s feelings into consideration so as not to wound their spirit. It takes the presence of the Holy Spirit to accomplish this. That is how the submission theme started – “be filled with the Spirit”. We need God’s Holy Spirit to train and raise our kids. “Ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” We are to coach, correctively discipline and then teach them the Word of God. A soft one on the behind sometimes would not kill the child but help them eventually.
Parenting is a hard job so let’s face it. It is not easy being a child too. I heard this week that parents are managers and consultants depending on the age of the children. We need to manage the children when very young and as they grow older (middle school and up), we need to be consultants (with minimal management) giving them advice and room to come with solutions on their own to implement changes. May God help us to be good parents. May God help our children and fill them with the Holy Spirit as He fills us to be obedient children. Amen.
I know that no child is going to be reading this blog. It means, I am writing to parents, adults and perhaps those still stuck in childhood and have refused to grow up.
When was the last time you got a child to do everything you wanted them to do? When was the last time as a child you did what your parents told you to do? I was an “obedient” child but I am sure I was like you. I did not find it pleasant to do everything my parents asked me to do. I may do them but with some attitude that earned me punishment. I heard about the girl who was told to sit down and she would not and finally she did. She then said, “I am sitting down but I am standing on the inside”.
I had it to the full last night. It was homework time with Jonathan. He wanted me to help him with his math fractions. He was required to express in fraction a problem that was described in words and narrative. I tried to help him but he would not listen to me. He did not want me to use words and I did not understand what he was trying to convey. I tried to help and got very frustrated that I had to walk away before I did something stupid like hit him. Have you been there? Children will get you to the “boiling point”. I know I did so when I was a child.
Let’s read the specific instructions to children which are a continuation of the submission theme to all from previous verses in Ephesians 5:
Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2 Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; 3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. 4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 6:1-4.
Who is a child in this passage? In other words what age range is the Scripture referring to? It has to be until one transition to adulthood around 18-21. After that, though we are children (offspring) we have a different relationship with parents. Adult children are required to “honor” their parents not so much to obey them. It means we need to grow up and be independent from our parents. Please leave home literally. If you are going to remain at home, then there is some “obeying” that comes with it.
The command is actually an indirect way to instruct parents to teach their children on how to obey. Children are already inclined to disobedience as part of our heritage from Adam. It now makes sense that adults, parents, wives and husbands were first instructed to submit and obey the Lord (Ephesians 5:21-33). How can we teach obedience to children when we are not obeying God our Lord? Part of the teaching of obedience is by the kids observing how we parents obey God. No parent should be surprised to see their child disobeying when the parent(s) have consistently disobeyed God’s command.
Obedience is not natural and it is foreign to our nature. Why would God ask children to obey their parents? Because it is the right thing to do – “for this is right” vs. 1. It is right because children’s obedience follows God’s order of creation – husband, wife, and child.
Children are only to obey their parents “in the Lord”. In other words, as parents submit to God, children submit to God thru their parents. A child should never obey a parent or anyone in anything when it is contrary to God’s will and His Word. Children should not be forced to disobey God. I hear people say to their kids “tell the caller on the phone that I am not home”. That is a lie and we should not make them do so. Deuteronomy 11:18-21 gives us more detail on how to train our children “in the Lord”.
There are benefits to obeying mom and dad. There are immediate benefits but there are lifetime benefits. “2 Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; 3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth”. God had to sweeten the deal for children. It will be well with you and you may live longer than you would if you continue in obedience instead of disobedience.
We are not to provoke the children. God, I don’t get this? They can provoke us but we are not to provoke them? Children certainly push our buttons. God is saying, you father (and mother), you know better; control yourself and not tease and anger your kids. Take the children’s feelings into consideration so as not to wound their spirit. It takes the presence of the Holy Spirit to accomplish this. That is how the submission theme started – “be filled with the Spirit”. We need God’s Holy Spirit to train and raise our kids. “Ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” We are to coach, correctively discipline and then teach them the Word of God. A soft one on the behind sometimes would not kill the child but help them eventually.
Parenting is a hard job so let’s face it. It is not easy being a child too. I heard this week that parents are managers and consultants depending on the age of the children. We need to manage the children when very young and as they grow older (middle school and up), we need to be consultants (with minimal management) giving them advice and room to come with solutions on their own to implement changes. May God help us to be good parents. May God help our children and fill them with the Holy Spirit as He fills us to be obedient children. Amen.
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