God's Purpose In Your Marriage - Love & Submit Part 2
Dear Saints,
"If someone says, "I love God, and hates his brother[sister], he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?" 1 John 4:20. Ladies and gentlemen, the one person you have seen for sure is your husband or wife. God is making you and me like Christ in marriage to attract others (unbelieving spouse, children, etc.) to Christ. That's the big picture.
Let's continue our study of 1 Peter 3 on the dreaded marriage topic and God's purpose in our marriages. Last week, Apostle Peter first addressed the wives. I don't know why both Paul and Peter start with the instruction for wives. Maybe the wives are easier to reach. Husbands, are we thick headed? Anyway, here is Peter giving it raw to the husbands:
"7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered". 1 Peter 3:7.
The same "likewise" applies to both wives and husbands. Likewise, submit to God's ordained authority/institutions for "the sake of Christ." (1 Peter 2:13-25). Every one of us must submit to Christ as a bride of Christ. Yes, you are a husband and a bride of Christ. So, husbands, it is hypocrisy to the highest heavens when we refuse to submit to Christ and expect our wives to do so to us in marriage.
Next, we husbands must live in understanding with our wives. In other words, the husband lives with the knowledge of her uniqueness, knowing she is a "weaker vessel" and a fellow heir of God's grace of life.
My marriage changed when the light came on for the first time, and I realized and accepted that my wife was me because it says, "Husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own body" Ephesians 5:28-29. I can't hurt my flesh/body. I nourish my body. So when I do anything for my wife, I do it for myself. It is a kind of good "selfishness."
The Scripture says the truth will set you free. I am free from routine bickering and asking why I have to do this or that for my wife. If she looks good and content, I look good and pleased. I am still working out that truth daily. Happy wife, happy home.
I have not graduated from the "university of my wife." I think I am a rising sophomore. There is more to learn. Husbands need more understanding of their wives. Our wives are unique and different from any other woman, including her and our mamas. It means we start a marriage in ignorance of our wives.
Next, we must know how to honor our wives. We honor her when we esteem and praise her. It means providing, protecting, initiating, nourishing, cherishing, leading with service and "sanctifying and cleansing her with the washing of water by the Word of God." Honoring applies to every believer as we are instructed to honor everyone, including the King (1 Peter 2:17).
Peter earlier reminded us that we are pilgrims or sojourners in a world with different marriage criteria, such as 50/50. It is not 50/50 in God's kingdom marriage. It is 100%.
The wife is the weaker vessel, but we are both weak vessels. We both need help. She is not feeble but like an expensive vessel, fragile and precious. Our bodies are the vessels of God (2 Cor 4:7). "Weaker" in the physical body especially, then at Peter's time when farming was the primary occupation. Men, on average, have more strength and stamina. There are exceptions, such as women bouncers. We must treat our wives gently, not harshly, condescending, or demeaning them. Very tough to do except with the help of the Holy Spirit.
We must honor her as an heir of the same grace of life - eternal life. She is the daughter of the Highest God. Reverence and honor the daughter of the King of kings. Yes, there will not be marriage in eternity, but we will know one another. Let's treat each other right on this side of eternity.
Peter is likely talking to predominantly Christian husbands with believing wives. Then, most men who had trusted in Christ, their wives followed along and equally trusted in Christ. It was not always the case with the wife who had first trusted in Christ. Then and now, there are more believing wives whose husbands are not believers in Christ than husbands whose wives are not believers in Christ.
It is always good to marry a believer in Christ as we are encouraged not to be "unequally yoked with an unbeliever." As believers in Christ, we don't marry to evangelize others to trust in Christ. There is no guarantee they would.
Unlike the wives, there is an immediate consequence for husbands that do not honor their wives. We hinder our prayer. How? Sin obstructs our relation to God (1 Peter 3:12). Matt 18:19, if there is no agreement because of a strained relationship, the unity in prayer is obstructed.
Broken relationships make it very hard to pray together. Are you praying with your wife or husband? It is hard to pray with someone you dishonor or don't respect in the case of the wife. Do you want the Father's blessings, then treat His daughter/son with honor and respect?
Bottom-line. We must love our wives because love covers a multitude of sins. Wives must respect their husbands. Ephesians 5:22-33. Lord, please forgive us in the many ways, we have sinned against each other in marriage.
We thank God for the power of forgiveness that gets us out of the dog house of marriage. We hurt and offend each other from time to time. Just as Christ has forgiven us, we must forgive each other 70x7 times daily. You can, but try it; without the power of the Holy Spirit, you fail.
If you have not trusted Christ as your savior, the best you have in marriage is a glorified roommate situation. It would be best if you believed/trusted Christ now and in eternity. Single or married, confess your sins, repent, ask God to forgive you, and grant you His Holy Spirit to live for Him. Amen.
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