Leave and Cleave - Cut the Cord
Leave and Cleave – Cut the Cord
I recently saw a movie where the groom was waiting at the altar for the bride to walk in for the marriage ceremony. Well the bride did not walk in but ran away with the wedding cake baker. The run-away bride said she could not compete with the groom’s mother. The groom does everything the mother and his dad tells him. The wedding was called off. Many engagements should have been called off just like this one. Many would be saved from life time of heartache and frustration.
Are you still a mama’s boy or are you still a daddy’s girl? Are you still bowing to their every command, instruction and counsel? Let’s cut the cord and run to the arms of each other in marriage. That is what God told us in Genesis (“leave and cleave”) and now repeated by the Holy Spirit thru Apostle Paul.
Let’s read Ephesians 5: 21-33:
. 21 submitting to one another in the fear of God.[c] 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body,[d] of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”[e] 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
“A man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” vs.31. This is the beginning of marriage. We must leave to cleave. If you don’t leave you will never cleave.
The goal of marriage is oneness just as we are being made one with Christ. Jesus prayed that we may be one with Him and the Father. When we are one with Christ, we have Christlikeness and act like Christ in situations that confront us. It is translated into looking out for the interest of the other just as Jesus did for us.
In the “leave and cleave” lies our protection responsibility. Men, we are to protect our wives from other family members especially parents. In-law and out-law issues have ruined many marriages. I can count many and you probably have some close to you. You may even be going thru the in-law crisis right now. We must act decisively to stand with our wives and keep off parents or any other interfering third parties. Talking about ones wife to parents and other families is equivalent to talking about yourself - we are demeaning ourselves instead of our spouses.
It is your home now so run and manage your issues together. Let your parents run their own home. Maybe your parents are deceased so keep your siblings, uncles and aunties off limits from your spouse. There is one business – your own business. Let everyone mind their own business. We embrace and love every family member on both sides but they are not there to control and manipulate us in marriage.
Leave and cleave also implies one man one wife. No room for extras. No other woman or man is allowed. It says the two become one not the three become one. Men, let’s keep this in mind. My wife is the most beautiful woman ever and forever to me. So is your wife to you. Please keep to yours.
Leave and cleave also means we do not cleave to imaginary people - pornography for men and for our ladies the steamy novels. Many men are caught in this. The spirit of entertainment has overtaken our society. We want to be entertained in sports, on TV and all else. The same spirit is behind pornography. It is insatiable. Men, if you are caught in this please seek help and don't keep it secret. You need deliverance from God himself. I cannot boast on any of these sexual temptations. But God has ingrained in me long ago the words of Joseph. “How then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?” Genesis 39:9. In addition, like Joseph keep running as the scripture says, flee from all sexual temptation (1 Corinthians 6:18). You cannot withstand, so let’s run because we are not strong enough when the hormones take over.
In our passage of study, we are also being called to be providers for our wives and our family. “29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church”. Nourishes means provision. Men, we must be providers. There is no room for sitting around and letting our wives toil while we watch TV. Wives are “help mates” and not slaves. Men are called to be the head not pimps. Whoever cannot provide for his family has denied the faith and is worse than an infidel (1Timothy 5:8). It does not matter how menial the job is let’s do it and bring bread to the table. May God help us to cherish our wives forever. You cherish what is very important to you – she is number one.
We will conclude our study with the summary and punch-line from Apostle Paul. “33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband”. This is to be the guiding principle in every marriage – mutual love and mutual respect for one another. The word love here is agape – sacrificial and no strings attached. Not expecting anything back and taking the first step to love regardless of what the other is doing.
The same way Christ loved us – while we were still sinners, Christ loved us and died for us. It was not after I had cleaned up my acts that he loved me but in the midst of it. Lord, help me to love my wife like you have loved me. Mutual respect comes from looking out for the interest of the other though the wife is addressed specifically. Wives, we men care for our egos so respect is important to us. So, wives and sisters please take care of your man and make him feel he is the most important person ever in your life. May God grant us all the wisdom and courage to do so in marriage. Let’s extend grace to one another. Amen.
For God’s people, divorce is not an option so we do not keep using that word and then later consider exercising the option – Till death do us part so help us God to work on our differences to be one. "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder" (Matthew 19:6) Amen.
I recently saw a movie where the groom was waiting at the altar for the bride to walk in for the marriage ceremony. Well the bride did not walk in but ran away with the wedding cake baker. The run-away bride said she could not compete with the groom’s mother. The groom does everything the mother and his dad tells him. The wedding was called off. Many engagements should have been called off just like this one. Many would be saved from life time of heartache and frustration.
Are you still a mama’s boy or are you still a daddy’s girl? Are you still bowing to their every command, instruction and counsel? Let’s cut the cord and run to the arms of each other in marriage. That is what God told us in Genesis (“leave and cleave”) and now repeated by the Holy Spirit thru Apostle Paul.
Let’s read Ephesians 5: 21-33:
. 21 submitting to one another in the fear of God.[c] 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body,[d] of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”[e] 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
“A man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” vs.31. This is the beginning of marriage. We must leave to cleave. If you don’t leave you will never cleave.
The goal of marriage is oneness just as we are being made one with Christ. Jesus prayed that we may be one with Him and the Father. When we are one with Christ, we have Christlikeness and act like Christ in situations that confront us. It is translated into looking out for the interest of the other just as Jesus did for us.
In the “leave and cleave” lies our protection responsibility. Men, we are to protect our wives from other family members especially parents. In-law and out-law issues have ruined many marriages. I can count many and you probably have some close to you. You may even be going thru the in-law crisis right now. We must act decisively to stand with our wives and keep off parents or any other interfering third parties. Talking about ones wife to parents and other families is equivalent to talking about yourself - we are demeaning ourselves instead of our spouses.
It is your home now so run and manage your issues together. Let your parents run their own home. Maybe your parents are deceased so keep your siblings, uncles and aunties off limits from your spouse. There is one business – your own business. Let everyone mind their own business. We embrace and love every family member on both sides but they are not there to control and manipulate us in marriage.
Leave and cleave also implies one man one wife. No room for extras. No other woman or man is allowed. It says the two become one not the three become one. Men, let’s keep this in mind. My wife is the most beautiful woman ever and forever to me. So is your wife to you. Please keep to yours.
Leave and cleave also means we do not cleave to imaginary people - pornography for men and for our ladies the steamy novels. Many men are caught in this. The spirit of entertainment has overtaken our society. We want to be entertained in sports, on TV and all else. The same spirit is behind pornography. It is insatiable. Men, if you are caught in this please seek help and don't keep it secret. You need deliverance from God himself. I cannot boast on any of these sexual temptations. But God has ingrained in me long ago the words of Joseph. “How then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?” Genesis 39:9. In addition, like Joseph keep running as the scripture says, flee from all sexual temptation (1 Corinthians 6:18). You cannot withstand, so let’s run because we are not strong enough when the hormones take over.
In our passage of study, we are also being called to be providers for our wives and our family. “29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church”. Nourishes means provision. Men, we must be providers. There is no room for sitting around and letting our wives toil while we watch TV. Wives are “help mates” and not slaves. Men are called to be the head not pimps. Whoever cannot provide for his family has denied the faith and is worse than an infidel (1Timothy 5:8). It does not matter how menial the job is let’s do it and bring bread to the table. May God help us to cherish our wives forever. You cherish what is very important to you – she is number one.
We will conclude our study with the summary and punch-line from Apostle Paul. “33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband”. This is to be the guiding principle in every marriage – mutual love and mutual respect for one another. The word love here is agape – sacrificial and no strings attached. Not expecting anything back and taking the first step to love regardless of what the other is doing.
The same way Christ loved us – while we were still sinners, Christ loved us and died for us. It was not after I had cleaned up my acts that he loved me but in the midst of it. Lord, help me to love my wife like you have loved me. Mutual respect comes from looking out for the interest of the other though the wife is addressed specifically. Wives, we men care for our egos so respect is important to us. So, wives and sisters please take care of your man and make him feel he is the most important person ever in your life. May God grant us all the wisdom and courage to do so in marriage. Let’s extend grace to one another. Amen.
For God’s people, divorce is not an option so we do not keep using that word and then later consider exercising the option – Till death do us part so help us God to work on our differences to be one. "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder" (Matthew 19:6) Amen.
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