Submit to own Husbands in Everything - You must be Kidding!
Submit to own Husbands in Everything – You must be kidding!
Over the Christmas holidays, we celebrated my wife’s uncle and aunt’s 50th wedding anniversary. We salute you Sir Adimoha and Lady Chinyere Ikemba for God’s faithfulness in your lives. We also join to congratulate former President George Bush and wife Barbara on their 70th wedding anniversary. To God be the glory. These are examples of marriages that have endured the test of time with lives frustrations and joys.
We continue our study of Ephesians 5 to deal with the dreaded “S” word for wives. Last time we learned that we are all required to submit (yield) to one another as a by-product of lives filled with the Holy Spirit. So if the Holy Spirit is not in control in any life, there is no submission.
Paul continues to address relationships in the family, starting with role of the wife, then the husband and finally the children. Our Christianity must work at the most basic level and that is the family. Charity begins at home. Why start with the wife? If mama aren’t happy, no one in the home is happy. Here is God’s command to wives:
“But be filled with the Spirit… 21 submitting to one another in the fear of God.[c] 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
I thank God that the Holy Spirit pointed the direction of the submission – “as to the Lord” and not as to man. When a wife submits, in essence, she is submitting to the Lord. The husband is representing Christ and he is the visible Christ she can see. It is easy to submit to someone you cannot see but when the person is present it is a different story.
It is a lot much easier for each of us to submit to Christ in light of what He has done for us. “He is the Savior of the body”. He died and saved us from our sins and reconciled us to God forever. What about a wife submitting to a husband who has not yet died for her? It is only possible in the Spirit when she thinks about Christ. Later in the passage, we will see that God is requiring the husband to a daily dying for the wife which makes it a bit easier for the wife. However, each one has an independent role and obligation to God to fulfil their part regardless.
We must say what submission is not. It is not being a door mat and a yes member. We have heard of the extremes of submission from people having no opinion on anything to those who despise submission and have the take-over spirit. It also says, “the husband is head of the wife”, and not the dictator, controller, nor superior or the smarter one.
Does Paul really mean for wives to submit to their own husbands in “everything” or “somethings”? I read it over just to make sure. It said in everything. Someone said that it means an opportunity for the wife to give the husband a chance to obey God and then she follows suit. It is allowing the husband to lead as he follows Christ. Give him the first chance to exhibit Christ-likeness before you start criticizing his leadership.
In everything means in everything including the bedroom. Honestly this will liberate and heal many marriages. Most women are very religious and are created to be. The tendency is to be so spiritual that they forget the natural. They want to do great things for God that are very spiritual. But God says to wives and to all of us, start with the natural and then to the spiritual. “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God” (Rom 12:1-2). You can’t say I love God whom you have not seen when you can’t love the husband that is next to you. 1 John 4:20-21.
In marriage there is need for bodily sacrifice and our bodies are not our own. Most wives struggle with this area. The devil knows it and has taken advantage of most and held some captive. Before marriage some women succumbed to sexual temptations and after marriage, they are so withdrawn from honoring God in this area. There is no oneness in the spirit and one flesh. The devil has used this to torment marriages to the point that some women even taunt (and manipulate) their husbands with sex – the one and only thing no one else is allowed to provide to your husband. Can we say so Church?
If you can submit to your husband in the bedroom, you can submit to him in the living room, or in the public. Some wives would rather submit to their children (or parents) rather than their husbands. They will concentrate on meeting the needs of the children to the total neglect of the husband. That is backwards. Without the husband you don’t have the children in the first place and your call is first to your husband. Wife if you are having problem submitting to your husband, God is your problem and not your husband. Please check back with God and pray for your husband; he is desperate for your prayers.
But you say ‘my husband is a “joke”. Yes, I am joke too. Well you married him. God will help you submit to him as you submit to Christ. Submitting to your husband is a walk of faith. You must trust God. Unforgiveness and pride will stop you in the track of submission. You will never submit to someone you resent. May we examine our hearts always to forgive and accept each other as a gift from God. If you are going to submit, then enjoy it and make him laugh.
I thank God for my wife UD who has allowed me the room to lead and make mistakes all these years. I know that it has not been easy for you putting up with me. May God continue to strengthen you (and other wives) even when I don’t know what I am doing in leading most of the times.
Over the Christmas holidays, we celebrated my wife’s uncle and aunt’s 50th wedding anniversary. We salute you Sir Adimoha and Lady Chinyere Ikemba for God’s faithfulness in your lives. We also join to congratulate former President George Bush and wife Barbara on their 70th wedding anniversary. To God be the glory. These are examples of marriages that have endured the test of time with lives frustrations and joys.
We continue our study of Ephesians 5 to deal with the dreaded “S” word for wives. Last time we learned that we are all required to submit (yield) to one another as a by-product of lives filled with the Holy Spirit. So if the Holy Spirit is not in control in any life, there is no submission.
Paul continues to address relationships in the family, starting with role of the wife, then the husband and finally the children. Our Christianity must work at the most basic level and that is the family. Charity begins at home. Why start with the wife? If mama aren’t happy, no one in the home is happy. Here is God’s command to wives:
“But be filled with the Spirit… 21 submitting to one another in the fear of God.[c] 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
I thank God that the Holy Spirit pointed the direction of the submission – “as to the Lord” and not as to man. When a wife submits, in essence, she is submitting to the Lord. The husband is representing Christ and he is the visible Christ she can see. It is easy to submit to someone you cannot see but when the person is present it is a different story.
It is a lot much easier for each of us to submit to Christ in light of what He has done for us. “He is the Savior of the body”. He died and saved us from our sins and reconciled us to God forever. What about a wife submitting to a husband who has not yet died for her? It is only possible in the Spirit when she thinks about Christ. Later in the passage, we will see that God is requiring the husband to a daily dying for the wife which makes it a bit easier for the wife. However, each one has an independent role and obligation to God to fulfil their part regardless.
We must say what submission is not. It is not being a door mat and a yes member. We have heard of the extremes of submission from people having no opinion on anything to those who despise submission and have the take-over spirit. It also says, “the husband is head of the wife”, and not the dictator, controller, nor superior or the smarter one.
Does Paul really mean for wives to submit to their own husbands in “everything” or “somethings”? I read it over just to make sure. It said in everything. Someone said that it means an opportunity for the wife to give the husband a chance to obey God and then she follows suit. It is allowing the husband to lead as he follows Christ. Give him the first chance to exhibit Christ-likeness before you start criticizing his leadership.
In everything means in everything including the bedroom. Honestly this will liberate and heal many marriages. Most women are very religious and are created to be. The tendency is to be so spiritual that they forget the natural. They want to do great things for God that are very spiritual. But God says to wives and to all of us, start with the natural and then to the spiritual. “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God” (Rom 12:1-2). You can’t say I love God whom you have not seen when you can’t love the husband that is next to you. 1 John 4:20-21.
In marriage there is need for bodily sacrifice and our bodies are not our own. Most wives struggle with this area. The devil knows it and has taken advantage of most and held some captive. Before marriage some women succumbed to sexual temptations and after marriage, they are so withdrawn from honoring God in this area. There is no oneness in the spirit and one flesh. The devil has used this to torment marriages to the point that some women even taunt (and manipulate) their husbands with sex – the one and only thing no one else is allowed to provide to your husband. Can we say so Church?
If you can submit to your husband in the bedroom, you can submit to him in the living room, or in the public. Some wives would rather submit to their children (or parents) rather than their husbands. They will concentrate on meeting the needs of the children to the total neglect of the husband. That is backwards. Without the husband you don’t have the children in the first place and your call is first to your husband. Wife if you are having problem submitting to your husband, God is your problem and not your husband. Please check back with God and pray for your husband; he is desperate for your prayers.
But you say ‘my husband is a “joke”. Yes, I am joke too. Well you married him. God will help you submit to him as you submit to Christ. Submitting to your husband is a walk of faith. You must trust God. Unforgiveness and pride will stop you in the track of submission. You will never submit to someone you resent. May we examine our hearts always to forgive and accept each other as a gift from God. If you are going to submit, then enjoy it and make him laugh.
I thank God for my wife UD who has allowed me the room to lead and make mistakes all these years. I know that it has not been easy for you putting up with me. May God continue to strengthen you (and other wives) even when I don’t know what I am doing in leading most of the times.
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