Love your Wife - Die
Love your Wife – Die
Marriage is the best opportunity to prove and validate what we believe in Christ. It is where the rubber meets the road. You can talk all you want about forgiveness until you really get into marriage relationship. In marriage, we are wounded the most, offended the most and offend the most.
Marriage is God’s best make. He said everything he had made was good. But then he said something was missing, so God made woman, Eve to complete all He had made. Marriage to me is the completion processes. God has saved us thru Christ’s death on the cross – that is where our security and significance comes from. It is complete by itself and nothing can add to the Cross in terms of works. However, in marriage, we are reminded and allowed to live out the reality of our salvation. By grace we were saved, sanctified and forgiven. Now the same work of grace continues in our lives and marriage is a tool in the refining fire process. So, brother/sister single, if you don’t want to be wounded and refined, then stay away from getting married.
If you are already married, then welcome to the holy fire of marriage. With this commentary, we read God’s command thru Apostle Paul to the husbands:
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body,[d] of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”[e] 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
The key phrase here is “just as Christ also loved”. We husband are being asked to love our wives the same way Jesus loved the Church, His bride. Jesus died for His bride, so we men are being asked to die too for our wives. Ouch! You thought submission was hard, try dying. Both submission and dying require the work of God by the Holy Spirit. Therefore we are asked to be filled and continually being filled with Holy Spirit. Without God doing the daily dying for us we cannot. I must remember that Christ already died for me and that whatever I am being asked to do for my wife is like nothing compared to Christ’s death for me. No offense can compare to my offense to Christ in my sinful nature.
To whom much is forgiven, much is required. I have been forgiven much by Christ, so I can forgive my wife as I look unto Christ. It cost Christ everything to die for me. It will cost me everything to love my wife. I am just finding out honestly. In the beginning and for a long time, it was a fairy tale and I did not have a clue what marriage was all about. It was me and me and me and me and then my wife. I was always looking out for me and mine and myself. When I did not get my way, I became very angry. One day God opened my eyes to “he who loves his wife loves himself”. This was the beginning of my transformation in marriage. I was already good at taking care of me and myself. Now I can take care of my wife as me. In essence, it became a kind of selfishness in a good way – seeing my wife as me and not two entities. If I wanted to be happy, I then cared and loved her and my joy stays with me. Men, if you have never tried it please ask God to open your eyes as He opened mine. Who hates himself? No one.
Another key point in the passage is the process Jesus uses for the Church – “sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word…not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish”. Christ is sanctifying us daily through His Holy Spirit and His Word”. He is constantly telling us in His word He loves us and that He will never leave nor forsake us. He is always reminding us that we are forgiven forever and that we please God because of His death on the cross. We are being asked to do the same for our wives. Men, we must be in love with Jesus and His word and obey His commands. If we want our wives to submit to us but we are not pursuing whom she ultimately submits to, then there is a big problem. How can we wash her with the word when we don't know the Word? Let's get off our laziness and study to show ourselves approved unto good works. The Word is the best “make-up” gift you can give your wife – “no spot or wrinkle”.
On a practical level we have to give up some of those football/soccer watching times and off the couch. You cannot spend Saturday, Sunday, Monday night for football and no time for the Word or to help in the house. My greatest joy comes when I spend some time in studying the Bible and praying together with my wife. I have not perfected it but still working at it. You don’t need to be a theologian to pray and study with your wife. Ask her what she received in the Word because God speaks to her too.
Next week, we will touch on the rest of our responsibilities as husbands – the provider, the servant leader and protector. For now, I will share with you what I rehearse almost every morning that is posted by the mirror as I shave in the morning. “Lord, I will see UD, my wife the way you see her. She is on my side and not my enemy. Bless her today. Together we will submit to you and resist the devil and he must flee. Help me Lord, I pray today in Jesus name. Amen”. You can borrow it and insert your wife’s name. Your wife (for the ladies, your husband) is not your enemy. The devil wants you to believe so. Let’s shame the devil by our confession and actions of love. May God help us all in marriage. Amen.
Marriage is the best opportunity to prove and validate what we believe in Christ. It is where the rubber meets the road. You can talk all you want about forgiveness until you really get into marriage relationship. In marriage, we are wounded the most, offended the most and offend the most.
Marriage is God’s best make. He said everything he had made was good. But then he said something was missing, so God made woman, Eve to complete all He had made. Marriage to me is the completion processes. God has saved us thru Christ’s death on the cross – that is where our security and significance comes from. It is complete by itself and nothing can add to the Cross in terms of works. However, in marriage, we are reminded and allowed to live out the reality of our salvation. By grace we were saved, sanctified and forgiven. Now the same work of grace continues in our lives and marriage is a tool in the refining fire process. So, brother/sister single, if you don’t want to be wounded and refined, then stay away from getting married.
If you are already married, then welcome to the holy fire of marriage. With this commentary, we read God’s command thru Apostle Paul to the husbands:
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body,[d] of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”[e] 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
The key phrase here is “just as Christ also loved”. We husband are being asked to love our wives the same way Jesus loved the Church, His bride. Jesus died for His bride, so we men are being asked to die too for our wives. Ouch! You thought submission was hard, try dying. Both submission and dying require the work of God by the Holy Spirit. Therefore we are asked to be filled and continually being filled with Holy Spirit. Without God doing the daily dying for us we cannot. I must remember that Christ already died for me and that whatever I am being asked to do for my wife is like nothing compared to Christ’s death for me. No offense can compare to my offense to Christ in my sinful nature.
To whom much is forgiven, much is required. I have been forgiven much by Christ, so I can forgive my wife as I look unto Christ. It cost Christ everything to die for me. It will cost me everything to love my wife. I am just finding out honestly. In the beginning and for a long time, it was a fairy tale and I did not have a clue what marriage was all about. It was me and me and me and me and then my wife. I was always looking out for me and mine and myself. When I did not get my way, I became very angry. One day God opened my eyes to “he who loves his wife loves himself”. This was the beginning of my transformation in marriage. I was already good at taking care of me and myself. Now I can take care of my wife as me. In essence, it became a kind of selfishness in a good way – seeing my wife as me and not two entities. If I wanted to be happy, I then cared and loved her and my joy stays with me. Men, if you have never tried it please ask God to open your eyes as He opened mine. Who hates himself? No one.
Another key point in the passage is the process Jesus uses for the Church – “sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word…not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish”. Christ is sanctifying us daily through His Holy Spirit and His Word”. He is constantly telling us in His word He loves us and that He will never leave nor forsake us. He is always reminding us that we are forgiven forever and that we please God because of His death on the cross. We are being asked to do the same for our wives. Men, we must be in love with Jesus and His word and obey His commands. If we want our wives to submit to us but we are not pursuing whom she ultimately submits to, then there is a big problem. How can we wash her with the word when we don't know the Word? Let's get off our laziness and study to show ourselves approved unto good works. The Word is the best “make-up” gift you can give your wife – “no spot or wrinkle”.
On a practical level we have to give up some of those football/soccer watching times and off the couch. You cannot spend Saturday, Sunday, Monday night for football and no time for the Word or to help in the house. My greatest joy comes when I spend some time in studying the Bible and praying together with my wife. I have not perfected it but still working at it. You don’t need to be a theologian to pray and study with your wife. Ask her what she received in the Word because God speaks to her too.
Next week, we will touch on the rest of our responsibilities as husbands – the provider, the servant leader and protector. For now, I will share with you what I rehearse almost every morning that is posted by the mirror as I shave in the morning. “Lord, I will see UD, my wife the way you see her. She is on my side and not my enemy. Bless her today. Together we will submit to you and resist the devil and he must flee. Help me Lord, I pray today in Jesus name. Amen”. You can borrow it and insert your wife’s name. Your wife (for the ladies, your husband) is not your enemy. The devil wants you to believe so. Let’s shame the devil by our confession and actions of love. May God help us all in marriage. Amen.
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